i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize