too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
