is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize