Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
