craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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