That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
