we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
