I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
