I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
