The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
