why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
