well I can't set my house on fire every night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
