I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
