Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
