do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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