who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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