and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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