Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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