p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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