Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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