Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
