So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
