I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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