i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
