I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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