Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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