At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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