i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
