i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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