GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
