I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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