just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
