I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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