I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
