Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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