this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
