Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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