I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub