Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/j2as
  Replies (44) Good night (3518) Bad night (1993)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep. http://tfl.nu/lshi
  Replies (27) Good night (1439) Bad night (4850)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much' http://tfl.nu/b5vr
  Replies (26) Good night (2356) Bad night (7988)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win. http://tfl.nu/2dfk
  Replies (8) Good night (4760) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut. http://tfl.nu/m0ui
  Replies (14) Good night (2004) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3068) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep. http://tfl.nu/pcyk
  Replies (11) Good night (1629) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina http://tfl.nu/lruw
  Replies (8) Good night (1344) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right? http://tfl.nu/i5oh
  Replies (1) Good night (1031) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5
  Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts http://tfl.nu/5sws
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh
  Replies (7) Good night (624) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No promises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year. (313): No promises http://tfl.nu/55qj
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (174) Bad night (540)

Randomize