non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
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I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go