So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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