Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"