Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
this hospital has no fireball
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.