So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked