I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
