I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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