when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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