this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
