You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
