Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize