Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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