She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
