I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sponge bath it is.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
