i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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