She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
