he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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