Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
