Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
