Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I will pee on everything he values.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
