Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
  Replies (20) Good night (764) Bad night (3875)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9ztc
  Replies (17) Good night (868) Bad night (2770)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp
  Replies (70) Good night (3464) Bad night (5308)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs
  Replies (35) Good night (8965) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/4mwl
  Replies (18) Good night (4997) Bad night (2160)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron." http://tfl.nu/0r6l
  Replies (26) Good night (6169) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory. http://tfl.nu/kmrf
  Replies (4) Good night (4230) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv
  Replies (18) Good night (4687) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently. http://tfl.nu/qjfh
  Replies (2) Good night (2618) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall? http://tfl.nu/7soh
  Replies (11) Good night (3067) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59
  Replies (10) Good night (3433) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend http://tfl.nu/biar
  Replies (5) Good night (1852) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?! http://tfl.nu/832w
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult http://tfl.nu/exna
  Replies (8) Good night (2207) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): 'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight. http://tfl.nu/r78k
  Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (459)

Randomize