Whod you bang
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no