So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
