is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy