I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?