I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.