The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you traded sex for a burrito?
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he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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