thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
