He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize