You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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